What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and...

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

What could be the result if I block a covert narc back after he said blocks were going back up, maybe we try this again?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Kristopher Mohamed needs help to fund cancer fight - Trinidad and Tobago Newsday

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Ancient miasma theory may help explain Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s vaccine moves - NPR

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Joe Biden is not the best president we had. That would be John F. Kennedy. How is voting for Donald Trump any worse than voting for Joe Biden?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Make Nazis afraid again!

The human genome is stored on this tiny crystal disk, hoping future visitors will 'de-extinct' us - Earth.com

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Hillary thinks we must censor or "we lose total control". Why does she demand total control?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Can you share a story of someone who had a lucky experience while hitchhiking?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

How do flat Earthers explain the existence of other spherical planets?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...